Am I breaking up with my employer?

I had heard the rumors months ago and the writing  has been slowly etching itself on the wall for over a year. My business partnership – we have been together now for almost 8 years – is dissolving. I do not yet know what the outcome will look like.

I have spent the last 3 days in a kind of emotional funk. I am detached and a little depressed like when you are in a relationship and you slowly realize it’s time to breakup. You remember that feeling, right? When the benefits have slowly faded away, communication and transparency have broken down, and you are no longer the same person you were when you entered the relationship.

The truth is that I AM a different person than when I began this job. I am now a  mother and no longer judge my success by my job title or pay grade. If I get through the day with spit up on my shirt but have managed to brush my teeth, well now, THIS is a success.

Call it a shift in priorities or dissolve of an illusion, but I am not sure which way to go from here. Along with a large chunk of my paid time off, employer matched retirement contribution, and now my flexible work from home schedule being significantly reduced (taken away…), I am not sure this job is worth the stress anymore.

We have been through two large layoffs and major restructuring as a company. It has been a difficult two years and I have the work load to prove it. With the remote work policy changing to require employees to be physically located in the office at least 4 days a week, the last remaining true benefit for me has been taken. If I need to be in the office 5 days a week, I can make significantly more money at another agency. That is a sad fact. The sole reason I have remained with my employer for so long, is the work from home benefit. Without it,  the alternative is full-time childcare or part-time employment (plus child care), both options leave me with less pay and less time with my girls. All 5 of us will need to be in 5 different places each morning, plus evening pick-ups. It’s a rat race.

The true cost can not be measured in money. It’s the time planning and packing for 3 kids and yourself each morning. It’s the cost of an hour commute twice a day to drop off and pick up in all weather and traffic. It’s the cost of seeing your children for only a few hours a day.

I have 2 months to decide my course of action. I feel deflated. I feel disappointed. I love what I do, but my heart is not in my ‘career’ and it has been difficult respecting the decisions of my employer.

Have you made a major shift? How did you decide to take the direction you did?

6 thoughts on “Am I breaking up with my employer?

  1. momlifewithchiari says:

    I think you’ve decided already. I know all too well what you must be feeling. After I had my first child, I left my job at a prestigious law firm – I was there for about 7 years. It was what I loved to do, I loved waking up each morning and going to work. However, my daughter had my heart and the career no longer did. It didn’t fill me or bring me the happiness it once did, my family did that now. And so I had to part ways. I wasn’t looking at the money, I was focusing on my daughter. Fast forward 11 years later, I don’t regret my decision. Yes, money is obviously not the same, however, my children give me everything money never will. Children are only children once, you can always go back to your career at a much later time. Courage – you’ve got this! 😊🙏🏽

    Liked by 1 person

    • mrsmotherdirt says:

      Thank you for the reply. I really needed to hear this. 🙂 I am scared. We have host of things (financially) in front of us before I can officially leave my job, but I think you are right – my side is made up and family is 100% more important to me (and my husband). If I hate being home, then I can always find a job. I know this intellectually but it is a HARD decision.

      Liked by 1 person

      • momlifewithchiari says:

        Yes, I think your heart has made the decision. It’s hard because we like to use logic in life, and some decisions don’t need logic. Logically you’d be nuts to leave your job seeing how the family is needing you, financially. Yes, you’ll fall on hard times financially, yes being a stay at home mom can always get you to want to run out the door, yes you’ll think what did I do and begin to doubt your decision ones it’s made, but that’s temptation want to get you away from your kids and back to putting money first. I’ve had my share of thought of returning to work, and then I get those hugs from my kids, the thank you’s and see their sweet smiles, and I know I’m in the right place on my life. This is what’s good for us right now – for me to be home. God is the provider, maybe He won’t get you that bag you’ve been eyeing, but He will sure place each meal on your table. No doubt! He will provide that and more! And to be honest, here’s never a ‘right’ time for anything, is there?! Never. It’s not hard, it’s a change and we all have a fear of the unknown, of change. But it’ll be for good! You’ll see!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Caitlin says:

    The benefits and flexibility my job allows me are the sole reasons I stay where I am. If they took away the option for me to pick her up at 3:15 everyday, or if I lost my retirement match and ample paid time off, I’d start looking at other options. I really, really hate that more employers don’t take a more flexible approach to 50% or 75% employment. I swear that I can get done what most people do in 100% time. I think that’s a trait of being a parent – maximizing efficiency. I hope a new opportunity opens up for you that allows you plenty of time with your kids and also professional fulfillment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mrsmotherdirt says:

      Thank you! The flexibility was the reason I have stayed too. I was offered a better paying job a fe months back but declined the offer due to having a 6 week old and having to be in the office full-time. 😦 Bummer. Maybe if I let this door close, another will open.


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