Budgeting with my Spouse: Lessons Learned

When I first wrote about budgeting with my significant other , I received some thoughtful feedback from fellow bloggers. This got me thinking about the past month and what I have learned early in the process.

First, budgeting together is easier than I thought. I attribute this to the fact that I had created a very specific budgeting style with my own money which has been a solid example for our family budget. Over time my husband saw how my budget worked.  We had been talking about money for some time and he was open to joining forces and accounts.

Our line of communication is open and flowing. This is important for two reasons. (1)We are communicating more often about finances and family spending, especially as school activities amp up and summer camp payments are coming due. (2) There is no hostility or stress related to money when we have these discussions. For me this is significant. Essentially there is no panic on my part because I have A PLAN! I had already started allocating money for these types of things so we are not shortsighted and scrambling to figure out where we would pull the money from.

Seeing the debt took away the fear. This may be the BIGGEST biggie for me. Seeing the debt, knowing what my husband was paying to his ex-wife and the money we needed to allocate to support my step-daughter, took away the power of the first marriage. As the second wife, there is sometimes a feeling of ‘unknown’ when it comes to the first marriage and the ex-wife relationship. With my husband and I keeping our finances separate, it created room for misinformation, me not feeling ‘included’ or feeling ‘other’ which is not a good feeling as a wife. Now that I can physically see my husbands financial relationship with his ex-wife, the power of that tie has been diminished. I feel more secure in my marriage….imagine that… I am a little embarrassed to admit that, but it’s the truth. Feelings are not always facts. Now that I have all of the facts, I feel a lot better.

What are some of the benefits you have experienced? Please comment below. 


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